Another discussion at the office. Since recently, I have an Indian colleague. So, one day during lunchtime, there was a seven and a half second discussion about marriage. The public opinion would have it that statistics prove that arranged marriages in predominantly Hindu countries last longer than other marriages. In the United States, which is predominantly Christian (!), more than half of marriages end up in divorce. The outcome of the discussion is that love is a bad reason for marriage, because love does not last. Now there.
I could only speak two sentences in this whole discussion, but the basis of my answer is this:
- Where it is culturally accepted to have arranged marriages; I can imagine that it is culturally unacceptable to end a marriage.
- No religion should be judged based on the actions of the ones that abuse it.
I am making an argument that this is not a religiously motivated situation; but more a result of a movement away from the religious principles.
But why does the statistics (or at least the public opinion about the statistics 😉 ) paint such a bleak picture? Could it be because of the attitude of our hearts?
Jesus tells the parable of the talents in Matthew 25:14-30.
Could it be that many of us are like this last servant? We are entrusted with SO MUCH; but are we committed to use it wisely? If you can read this post, you are amongst the 5% richest people in the world. But what is our attitude? Maybe something called Consumerism? If this option does not work out, we will throw it away and try another one. If plan A fails, there is always a plan B and even plan C! To the point where we keep back-doors open for everything.
Let us remember today, there is only one option: marriage has no back-door. I am giving 100% commitment, which is what I promised 15 years ago. I intend to keep that promise. What about you? Lets change the stats. Can we do it alone? Certainly not. But to Him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory.
Jaco, thanks for your post. I love the way you answered you colleague. And your take on it later in the post.
I went through a divorce myself, became part of the statistics. Through the grace of God I got a second chance, and realising now that it will take 100% commitment to make it work. The stats on second marriages are even higher.
Well, we got pass the first seven years now, going for eight. Through the grace of God we will grow old together. And daily commitment from our side.
I can never blame society or friends / family or culture or my religion for the decisions I make. Or made. It is always my choice. Maybe there are other factors we should have a look at to understand other communities with lower divorce rates. Maybe they know something about commitment we have forgotten (or not even learnt yet) in our Western societies.